Friday, 31 October 2014


I find myself at work, waiting on another image to render, knowing I am going to be here for at least another 90 minutes, 60 of which it will take for the first part of the image to set up. This means I have an hour to waste time, so what better way to do that than to ramble on here.

Today is Halloween. Whoop-de-doo. We don't really celebrate it that much here in SA. I have never trick or treated in my life and have only gone to one Halloween party that I can remember. I was probably about 11 years old, and I dressed up as a pumpkin. True story.

I would be such a paranoid parent these days, letting my kids go house to house asking for sweets. If it's in a closed community where everyone knows everyone, I am sure it would be fine. In general though, not a chance in hell. I like the idea of the ToT - for shame on those who put veggies in the kiddies' bags. Wouldn't that be nice though - as a kid, growing up in the 'burbs where you can partake in festivities such as this? Idyllic. Until someone gets murdered.

Don't know where that came from.

Anyway, Halloween. Don't remember its origins and too lazy right now to research it. I'm going to go with Pagan though. Autumn equinox or something. All hallow's eve. Bells are ringing faintly.

I think I would like to go to a fancy dress party and have fun with friends. However, I never plan far enough ahead and a decent costume cannot be hacked together from my closet an hour before a shindig. Plus there's the fact that I don't have enough make-up to do the artistry thing, and face paint cracks and peels off. Nice idea though. I would want to go as something scary, none of this slutty nurse stuff. If I went as a nurse I would make sure she was psychotic and you knew it just by looking. Vampire and witch are over done, but what other scary/freaky female costumes are there?

Maybe next year.

Maybe next year I'll say 'maybe next year' too.

Friday, 17 October 2014

A rant about a rat

A rat bastard, that is.

There are two things I want to talk about: the Oscar Trial (how can you not), and my parents' move to the Free State. The former can wait for another time, at least until after sentencing has been finalised. The latter... well.

A week ago from today I was in my car with my best friend and two dogs, about 60% of the way along the journey to my parents' new home in Bethulie. It's a small town at the bottom of the Free State (middle-ish of South Africa), close to our deepest dam, the Gariep.

The idea is to start a backpackers/guesthouse. I worry that it's too out-of-the-way from the main route between Jo'burg and Cape Town. My misgivings aside, it's too late now, they have to make it work. Positivity people!

My dad has been at the place for around 5 months, with a contractor from their home town to get the renovating started. Certain things were supposed to be finished by the time my mom made the big move; promised to be finished actually. When we arrived, my heart broke. My first thought was "what the hell have these men been doing for the past 5 months?!", and I worried that my mom would (justifiably) snap. Then we see my dad and he tells us that the contractor left two days before, with no warning, to go on holiday with some woman, and no-one quite knew when he'd be back. What kind of self-respecting contractor does that? Particularly when there is so much to finish?! One that has been taking full advantage of my father's generosity and door-mat nature.

In a nutshell, my dad didn't manage him. They were too busy being buddy buddy and going fishing. Now it'll be up to my mother to lay down the law and get things done. I love my dad, and understand him, but I am incredibly disappointed in him and his reluctance to be the 'bad guy' and stand up and make sure things are done. They're paying a disgusting amount of money to this contractor, and I personally think that should have been nipped in the bud as soon as things started sliding past schedule (around about the first month!). There is nothing wrong with saying "I'm paying for a service and it will be done properly and within the agreed time frame otherwise you won't get paid." I understand there are hiccups in any contracting job, but there's no excuse for being a sly bastard with no job pride.

It makes me so mad to think about it. Mad and worried. There is no fall-back. It's this or nothing for them. I have to thank my friend for being so gracious about the fiasco that was arriving. We spent our rest day before driving back helping to re-paint and scrape paint etc etc. That's another thing: you're a contractor, you make your money doing this and you don't use masking tape?! The one word that describes this guy is lazy. Lazy, if-I-can-get-away-with-half-arsed-I-will. I would put his name down and shame blame him but that would be uncouth and none of my business. Just like it's none of my business he has a wife and kid at home while he goes galivanting with another woman. Ass.

Whoosah.... Ok. The positives. The place my parents are taking over is actually quite nice, if you can see past the building junk and general disrepair. It's an old monastery dating back to the late 1800s or something and the main house rooms are HUGE! Lovely wooden furniture, yellow wood flooring, high ceilings. It will be wonderful once it's finished and dickied up. Which will hopefully be in the next 9 weeks as I will be spending Xmas and New Year there, and the last thing anyone needs is tension between parentals because shit still isn't done.

Aaaannnd..... breathe.

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Feeling guilty for not feeling anything

Romance. At times I think it is entirely over-rated and at others I envy those who are in love and happy about it.

Having never been in love I can honestly say I don't know the first thing about it. I may even go so far as to say I might be one of those who are incapable of falling in love (or are just really, really bad at it). Infatuation, check. I know about that. Strong like, sure. Ambivalence bordering on apathy... yeah alright, I've been in that room too.

Although all the snogging (what a British word!) and canoodling and what not (otherwise known as PDAs) can be nauseating to watch for some of us, when I see couples who are just plain happy to be in each other's company, who truly love each other, as opposed to merely being in love - those are the ones that make me smile and wonder where I can find some of that.

What I do know, or at least strongly suspect, is that you shouldn't be having a relationship, or starting one, when you don't feel much. Even for a pessimist/cynic like me, that just bodes ill. Even if said relationship falls under the banner of 'just fun' or 'nothing serious'. There should be something more than "yeah, it's ok, it's not bad", surely?

Starting something is always the worst. I know many who say it's the best part, when everything is new and you're getting to know one another. It's all new thrills and excitement and yayness. My experience? It's not new. It's the same thing rehashed between a different pair of people. The thought just makes me tired. Guess I just am not the "getting goosebumps" type. Ha. I'm going to die alone.